Following on from this January post about the BDSM ‘scene’, it seems, unsurprisingly that nothing much has changed.
Below is a post from yourdisillusionment on this subject. TRIGGER WARNING for some of the descriptions used, plus I haven’t read all the links, so assume none of them are SFW, all of them may also be triggering, and you may be happier not reading them at all.
The Top BDSM Lie: “BDSM is consensual!”
Except for all those times when it isn’t, and the times when the tops don’t want it to be.
Don’t read past this if you don’t want to be sickened by the vileness of it all.
Brief examples from a wealth of available examples:
“The fact is, I’m tired of being told what’s okay for me. I’m tired of all the safe words. Sometimes I’m tired of safe words altogether. I don’t want to negotiate everything to death. I want to be surprised or surprise someone. I want to be afraid, and I want to cause someone to piss in terror. I want to have sweat and piss and cum and blood dripping, and not just because it’s warm and late and the sex is nice. There are times when I want to walk into a room, grab that girl, slap her hard, and make her cry. I want to push her down and fuck her mind over twice as hard as her body.” – Laura Antoniou, in a speech given in 1995 in Seattle Washington. Ironically, the website is all emphatic about how you aren’t allowed to quote her on this, or on anything that she says. I guess I’m just topping you without consent, Laura. It’s called “fair use” – http://www.copyright.gov/fls/fl102.html.
This horrific story about a runaway teen locked into a “sex slave” contract and forced into “horrific” tortures, as described by the clearly shocked news article writer, is met with a lot of denial by BDSMers. “THAT’S NOT BDSM!” they cry. “THEY WERE DOING IT WRONG!” Well let’s see… she had a contract. She was 16, which is actually the age of consent to sex in many states, and the rest of the time, you know, the sex-pozzers are all for older teens being able to say “yes”. They love, for example, the 17 year old girlfriend of Larry Flynt in the movie glorifying him. They had a contract – that’s consent, right? The process of fully giving up your rights is known in BDSM as “TPE” or “total power exchange” and it’s considered sort of the BDSM equivalent of Catholic marriage, twue wuv, where you completely and utterly trust your partner to make all your decisions for you and about your body and what happens to it and absolve yourself of any decision making responsibility or rights. http://www.bdsmtrainingacademy.com/tpe-total-power-exchange/
Branding your slave? Yes, that is done, usually by “Gorean” BDSMers – aka the uncool part of the scene, whom the rest of the scene also tries to pretend aren’t really the same as them because they make them look bad, but can never quite explain why they aren’t part of the scene, since they do all the same things and are just sexist sci-fi fanatics (and lest you think these shitstains exist only on the internet, let me tell you, there are plenty of them I encounter in the city where I live, and in fact they make up about 50% of the BDSM scene here.)
“Electrocuting”? Look up violet wands, probably they were using some device like that, or a homemade one. Making her strip and sleep with his friends? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen subs in the backrooms of BDSM chat boards talk about being passed around to master’s friends. And stripping is empowerful, according to the sex-poz crowd. The shock evident in this article is what happens when their sick practices are brought to light. Within the community, all of these things short of the home abortions and pet killing are considered okay – extreme edge play, perhaps, but totally fine. No criticism allowed!
January, 2012: Noise begins to spread through the BDSM community about how “consent” is being ignored routinely and subs are being abused. Immediate and strong resistance is felt as a backlash from a great number of tops. A Salon article is written about the problem – the BDSM world goes NUTS as long time scene insiders speak up about the persistent problem of “safe words” being ignored inside the “scene” negotiated boundaries being stomped on, women being raped, and the community coming together to silence the women and protect the rapists.
The backlash is immediate, with BDSM aficionados popping up everywhere to blame the victims, say they should have told someone, should have negotiated the scene better, read their stories and call them “grey areas” and “mutual confusion” with no clear abuser and victim. Kitty Stryker, a woman who spoke up in the original article, begins fighting back against this at first, running a series of blog posts about the depth of the problem in the BDSM culture.
She asks for submissions from readers and receives so many tales from people who have been raped and abused in the scene that she has to run it in THREE segments.
She begins getting pushback from angry maledoms in the scene. Talking about raped subs is unacceptable.
Meanwhile, others are talking about the issue, because Stryker is well known and making a fair amount of noise about it, as well a the Salon article having been picked up and distributed widely. Womanist Musings hosts a guest blog by a self-described male dom ally known only as “Snowdrop Explodes” – who is shortly thereafter exposed for having written a long confession about stalking a woman with intent to rape and kill her because “he was depressed.” He takes down the post, whining about how “people didn’t understand its intent”. Kitty Stryker posts in support of HIM, talking about how hard it is to be all honest and shit and come out and bare your soul about your past mistakes and deep dark inner desires to hunt a woman down and rape and kill her. “He’s not the only one who’s been there”, she says. She understands. Poor him, she says, explaining how she understands as she tells a story of how she viciously beat a tied up, sobbing woman.
Finally, Stryker steps back from “Consent culture”, after a final post watering down all of her former ones, saying there are lots of grey areas, no real clear victims or abusers, no it isn’t the opposite of rape culture. THE COMMUNITY IS SAFE FROM THOSE VICIOUS WOMEN SPEAKING UP AGAINST RAPIST DOMS AGAIN!
Kitty Stryker’s post about ‘stepping back’ from consent culture is here (link NSFW and the side bar contains images that may be triggering).