Daily Archives: March 2nd, 2013

“When I talk about my experiences with male violence”

even just mentioning them in passing, people often like to say, “Damn, ladygirl! What kinds of men have you been hanging out with?”

I don’t know. Poets. Artists. Musicians. Mathematicians. IT know-it-alls. Law students. Gentleman farmers. Proletarian activists. Bourgeoise wannabe-proletarian activists. Up-and-coming financiers. Amateur athletes. Coffee-shop owners. Waiters. Independent filmmakers and -actors. High school, elementary school, and substitute middle-school teachers. You know, just your average cross-section of male humans?

There is no one kind of dude that is more likely to be a rapist (or even just a plain old run-of-the-misogynist), and I’ve experienced these traits in all different kinds of dudes.

But, of course, the more ‘mainstream’ dudes (and some women …) who ask will hear a description of something vaguely bohemian, and LOL because “oh, hahaha, that’s why.”

While, meanwhile, lefty/fauxgressive types will hear some mention of something more ‘bourgey’ and LOL because “oh, hahaha, that’s why.”

Very few, if any, of them will listen and let it sink in and own up to the fact that any dude can be an active part of rape culture — not just the types of dudes who aren’t them or who don’t reflect the lifestyle they personally lead. None of them want to be implicated, and none of them want to take the initiative to meet female reality head-on.

From Ise Palase