When feminists critique pornography for its effect on women, its defenders cry “what about gay porn”? When feminists critique kink in terms of men getting off on hurting women, defenders cry “but female doms and same-sex couples!” What these responses have in common is that they’re derails. By focusing on the narrowness of the inquiry, by complaining about terminology, defenders are ignoring (or perhaps intentionally deflecting attention from) the core of the criticism: that women and girls are being harmed. We’re trying to talk about harm being done to women, and you want to complain that we failed to mention the times when they’re not? “Not all porn” and “not all kink” are exactly the same as “not all men”: an attempt to shift the conversation onto the people who aren’t being hurt so we can’t talk about the ones who are.
QotD: “What these responses have in common is that they’re derails”