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34 responses

  1. I have doing a research article on the counter discourse regarding sin industries and would like to reproduce your logo in a researach article published in an academic review.
    Do I have your permission to do so?
    Looking forward to hearing from you,
    Yours truly,
    Shaeda ISANI

  2. We’re happy for you to use the ‘bin the bunny’ logo in the way you have described in your comment.

    Thanks for visiting the blog.

  3. Hey there, great blog!!!!!! I came here from Debs at the Burning Times. So wonderful to see another excellent anti-porn blog. Just wanted to come over and voice/write my support for the wonderful work you are doing.

    🙂 buggle

  4. I have read three of your flyers and dont disagree with a single word of any of them

  5. Thanks Ed; it’s always good to hear from a pro-feminist man (if that is how you would choose to describe yourself), or any man who agrees broadly with our aims!

  6. Thank you for your excellent blog. I have recently become interested in women’s issues but I have been put off by feminists who are pro-porn. I find this attitude very hypocritical. How can one say they care about sexual assault victims and then turn around and defend rape porn. If feminists really care about women then they shouldn’t be such hypocrites. Thanks again.

  7. Hi Erin. I had to giggle (to my utmost relief) that you were turned off feminism because of pro-porn rubbish. I am used to people telling me they are turned off feminism because of the ones who are against pornography!!! I hear ya. I never understood how feminism and pornography can be put together….RF

  8. Thanks for your blog. It is great news that the struggle against these images and violence against women are alive and well in spite of pro-porn activists within the mainstream womens movement.

    I live in Canada but have roots in the U.K., and support your campaign.

    We are overwhelmed here with pro-porn rubbish in both the womens, gay and lesbian movements.

  9. M., in WA State

    Just wondering what you think the odds are of ever finding a ‘man’ who is not into, wrapped up in, or supporting the porn/sex industry? This seems to be a huge theme in my relationship life and quite frankly I’m thinking about giving up on men all together.

    I believe being ‘gay’ is based on biology, but am starting to think I’d have better luck having a successful, supportive, and porn-free relationship with a woman.
    Thanks
    M., in WA State

  10. This is all so refreshing to read. However, it doesn’t last long. I am 22 years old and I am becoming aware, and fast, of what it means to be a woman. And it’s very scary. I was raised by my father. I have 2 brothers and 9 boy cousins. I’m reading feminist blogs at 4am and I don’t talk about it at any other time (except with my psychiatrist, which is still a limited conversation). I am just in a very confused and embarrassed state; I appreciate these blogs, but I need to talk to someone. I need closure. I’m terrified for my relationship with my boyfriend – how can I love him when I “hate” all men? And how do I show him that the idea of porn and strip clubs are disrespectful to me? He thinks they’re okay, which hurts me, to the core. I am afraid to reveal my feminist side, I’m afraid he’ll leave – of which I am infinitely ashamed. Does this feeling ever subside?

  11. In response to the post titled please help. You did not state the country that you are in at the moment. I would try and find a womens centre or resource where you may be able to meet other women like yourself and discuss these issues. Generally, there are Rape Crisis Centres or other focussed groups in many towns and cities. Hope this helps.

  12. Dear pleasehelp
    You ask does this feeling ever subside? Don’t worry, it does but, in the meantime, don’t be ashamed at all that you’re afraid he’ll leave. That’s only natural for you to be afraid. After all, at present, the only time you get the chance to think about feminism is reading blogs at 4am. I remember I actually fainted on a train the first time I was reading a feminist magazine and an article inside really shook me – it was something that I knew was true because I had experienced it for myself, but I had never seen it written down before and the truth of it was too much for me to take in at once, I felt so utterly alone. As Gloria Steinem said, “the truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off” or, in our case, make us feel afraid and ashamed of being afraid.
    It sounds like your psychiatrist is not a feminist. Try broaching again your opinions and, if your psychiatrist is unsupportive, I wonder if it is possible for you to change to someone else.
    In the meantime, try to google a women’s bookshop or failing that a general radical bookshop or, failing that, a bookshop which has at least one shelf of women’s studies where you could maybe start up a conversation with another browser. Alternatively, if you find a bookshop with a feminist section, the bookseller might be able to refer you to other feminists. Similarly, your local library might have some information on women’s groups or a local college might run an evening class or other course on women’s studies.
    Good luck and do let us know how you get on.

  13. The attitudes that are depicted in film and TV resonate powerfully in the rest of society. There are still 2 men for every woman depicted in TV and film drama and most of those women play ‘supporting’ roles – eye candy being the most popular with the knock on effect that women depicted in drama generally reach a sell by date at an early age. There is a petition to address this imbalance published by Equity on a safe site –
    http://www.gopetition.co.uk/online/24658.html – please sign up to it as it is both individually and collectively that we’ll make a difference and each issue has a knock on effect to the next.

  14. Hello there. I’m so glad I found this website via the pornharms and Antipornblog pages on youtube. For the last couple of days or so my anger on the subject of porn has reached boiling point, because I feel as though I’m surrounded by many women in my everyday life who think its alright for men to objectify them so I’ve been doing some research on ‘tinterweb and I’m so pleased to see there are many women who share my opinion out there. I was begining to think we were a dying breed but I’ve never been so happy to be wrong. We’re not boring, prudish, men-haters who are afraid of sex and its about time people stopped thinking of us as such just because we think its wrong to, oh I dont know, lets say, to physically and verbaly abuse other human beings while you’re having sex with them and to feel sexual gratification whilst watching it.

  15. [removed at commentor’s request]

  16. Verinon,

    The best method is education. Pornography is bad for all of us, men as well as women, and we’re beginning to see the fall-out from the first generation of young adults who grew up with unlimited access to extreme pornography in terms of relationship violence and STIs etc.

    A lot of people aren’t happy with pornography, and feel it has negatively affected them. But to speak up (especially if you are a woman) is to risk being ridiculed as a prude and anti-sex, so challenging that (which is, in itself, a form of censorship!) is important.

    You’re right, in that some of the people who defend porn as ‘free speech’ readily admit that it does have a negative affect, and that power is what makes it speech and therefore in need of protection.

    But if porn is speech it’s hate speech, and the only form of hate speech that gets a free pass. If racists communicated their racist ideas by recording racial violence (even if the victim was so poor they could be induced to submit to the violence in return for money), it wouldn’t be defended the way porn is defended.

    Pornography is an intrinsic component of male supremacism, that’s why it’s defended the way no other hate speech, or recording of violence would be.

  17. It is reassuring to find other people with the same opinion as me, i find that my girlfriends do not know what porn is these days. I found out through researching raunch culture for my dissertation and i refuse to talk to them about it as i wouldn’t want to put this kind of anger towards men on anyone, they are better off not knowing. Anyway i need other people to talk to about it. How do i connect with the members of this group?

  18. Hello,

    APL isn’t really all that active at the moment, for active feminist groups try the London Feminist Network or Object. If you’re looking for an online forum, I Blame the Patriarchy has a good community of commenters.

  19. Hi there. I see from the above comment that APL isn’t too active lately, but I’m a new reader so I look forward to reading all your goodies. I just wanted to drop a note to say that I LOVE what I’ve been reading so far on this most excellent blog. I also love how you so coherently articulate your positions AND maintain a respectful yet assertive demeanor in responding to people who disagree or are further behind in un-mining their porned minds. It’s admirable, refreshing, and inspiring. 5 thumbs up to you, the important work you’re doing, and how you’re doing it!

  20. Thank you so much for the encouraging words!

  21. I’ve been recieving your posts every Monday for what I would assume is almost a year now. I am so grateful that I discovered your blog when I did. Thank you, so much, for the dedication that you have committed to this cause. I have received an incredible amount of encouragement and conviction (from my lack of expression regarding this issue), due to your posts. I have been appalled by the disgusting reality of this world, empowered by the intelligence expressed in this blog, and inspired by the shared passion regarding the harm that porn causes to society…so I want to say thank you. Thank you for your passion and for your dedication…I am so proud to be part of your team. You are an inspiration.

  22. Hi Alik,

    I’m glad you’ve found this blog so useful, thank you for your support.

    Kind regards,
    A

  23. I clicked on antipornmenproject, which is antipornmen.org and it is no longer that! it is now a sex portal. Thought you would like to know.

  24. Thanks for letting me know!

    I’ve replaced it with their facebook page (although that hasn’t been updated recently).

  25. Ryan monteiro

    I’d like to learn more, as a male who has been viewing porn his entire life I can no longer stand back and call myself a man after watching the violence an degradation against these women… I’m a police officer and have seen horrible things but this is clearly unwanted abuse in exchange for currency to survive. If there is anyway I could be of assistance please lie me know via email

    With you all the way-ry montero

  26. Dear Ryan,

    As a man you can help the feminist cause by using your male privilege to call out other men when they behave in a sexist or a misogynist manner. A woman who speaks out against men risks being shouted down or called crazy (or worse), a man has a chance of being taken seriously by other men.

    As a police officer, you have a huge scope for doing things to help the most vulnerable women in your society. You can educate yourself and your colleges on the way rapists and their victims behave, and challenge the rape myths that result in so many men getting away with it; you can make sure victims are treated fairly, and not re-victimised all over again; the same with victims of stalking and domestic/intimate partner violence.

    I don’t know exactly how the US police system works, but I imagine that, as in the UK, individual police forces have some autonomy over which crimes they choose to pursue ‘in the public interest’. You could push your department to take on a de facto abolitionist/Nordic Model approach to prostitution, by persecuting the john rather than the prostitute her (or him) self. The Merseyside police force in the UK has had a very good success rate by treating all violent crimes against prostitutes as hate crimes.

    If you are looking for insight from other pro-feminist men, you can check out the links in the sidebar under ‘What About the Men?’

    I hope the above is useful to you, please feel free to ask any other questions.

  27. What site would you recommend for someone living in the U.S. to get involved in actions that are similar to your site? I am a 51 year old woman who is trying to find a way to make a difference for young people growing up in this porn-centric society. I watched my mother try and find some ways of liberating herself in her marriage in the 70’s and am saddened that it seems that women in this country have actually slid in status, I believe due to the porn industry. My husband was addicted to porn and the way it affected his brain was disturbing. Finding out about his addiction dramatically affected my self-esteem as an aging woman. I find it extremely difficult to age in our culture. I have always considered myself a feminist and am shocked at how many young women are turned off by feminism. I am also shocked by the way famous women who call themselves feminists dress and dance like they are porn stars and say that is part of their power. My daughter and all her friends shave their pubic hair. Have we created a culture that makes pedophilia the norm? I am grateful for your site as I have been struggling for years to find a place to put my energies to help change this aspect of our culture. Please, direct me to actions in the Pacific Northwest of the U.S. if you are aware of any. Thank you.

  28. Hello, I’m not aware of many in-real-life activist groups in the US.

    http://www.stoppatriarchy.org/index.html is the nearest thing I can think of, and they do have different chapters http://www.stoppatriarchy.org/chapters.html (is Seattle Pacific Northwest?)

    You could always try starting one yourself!

  29. Can someone please help me? I met a man claiming to be a “Dom” online and he came over today to “play” but it wasn’t play and he wouldn’t stop!!! I don’t know what to do or who to turn to please can someone help me?

  30. Hello Emily,

    I suggest you contact your local rape crisis centre. They will be able to help you in terms of medical aid, therapeutic aid, practical steps to protect yourself, and to help you decide if you want to report this man to the police of not (there may be many very good reasons why you can’t go to the police).

    I don’t know what part of the world you are in, but it’s very easy to find national organisations (in the global north at least) with a quick internet search.

  31. Just read your entry that equates BDSM with rape culture. As both a feminist and BDSM practitioner, I beg to differ.

    Yes, you did find horrific comments on Fetlife. Yes, there are plenty of people out there who violate basic BDSM values and obscure their abusive behavior by claiming to be part of the “community.” However, your highly selective and biased sampling of Fet conversations is about as skewed as anything on Fox News.

    BDSM rests on the principles of “Safe, Sane and Sexy.” We have the concept and use of a “safe word.” A safe word is a single word that can stop a scene at ANY TIME for ANY REASON. Abuse, on the other hand, cannot be stopped with 1,000 words. People who are in the BDSM community and honor its principles place consent at the top of their value pyramid. We establish consent early on and continually in relationships. People who are known to violate consent are not only looked down upon, but generally the community will provide warnings to others who want to play with them.

    Second, rape fantasies are different than rape culture. I am currently in the process of interviewing people who participate in rape play. Overwhelmingly, the underlying psychology seems to be either one of trying to gain control over the constant threat of rape by designing a scene where the person (not always a woman as you portray in your comments) creates a scene to give him or her power over something that we all face as a constant daily threat.

    In terms of abuse, the BDSM community actually provides more safety and support than the “feminist” community. We have discussion groups which meet on a regular basis and provide feedback to people about their relationships. The sub group I belong to has MORE THAN ONCE told a member what they are experiencing is abuse and met the person where they are at to help extract them from a relationship. There is no equivalent of this support and help in the vanilla world.

    I maintain a blog, www,loveletterstoaunicorn.com, where I extensively discuss the intersections of BDSM and feminism. Unlike your biased and small sampling from Fet, I am a researcher by training and draw on the wide world of literature and data. I also know of what I speak. I have been a submissive for nearly 30 years. In addition, I am a nationally noted feminist, including having run the California Commission on the Status of Women and Girls (state agency dedicated to the betterment of women and girls) and produced a landmark report on the needs of women veterans, including much on Military Sexual Trauma.

    Unfortunately, ill informed posts, such as yours, continues to perpetuate the bias and shame associated with those of us who work to end abuse and rape. You may want to check out my campaign, Red Stops Rape. Its a campaign to establish a national safe word as a way to fight rape culture in the U.S. Current laws that seek to teach affirmative consent (in CA and NY right now) take a baby step toward this. It is the BDSM community that has the solution. Fearing kink and those of us who are sex positive will only encourage rape culture you claim to fight.

    Feel free to have you or your readers contact me. Rebecca Blanton (Stage name Auntie Vice)

  32. You may have read my blog post on fetlife, but you very obviously didn’t bother to read the comment thread underneath, or any other post on this blog, otherwise you wouldn’t be wasting my time trying to ‘explain’ the basics of BDSM to me. I know what BDSM is, I know all the claims about ‘safe, sane, consensual’, and ‘risk aware consensual kink’, I understand them, and I call bullshit on them.

    (I haven’t seen “Safe, Sane and Sexy” widely used – did you realise you missed ‘consent’ out there?)

    You have an academic career, good for you. That doesn’t make you flawless, or immune from bias – I hope, for the sake of the women and girls in California, that your dedication to the eroticisation of inequality and abuse doesn’t seep through into your work.

    But I suspect it has, your idea for a ‘national safe word’ is plain laughable: ‘no’ is the default ‘safe word’ in real life, and if men ignore ‘no’ why would they listen to ‘red’?

    Do you think men commit rape by accident? Because consent is just too difficult? If men really are incapable of understanding what ‘no’ means, why would they be able to understand what ‘red’ means?

    This isn’t even liberal feminism (liberal feminist at least have a basic understanding of rape culture), this is just the patriarchal mainstream: boys-will-be-boys, and women just have to say ‘no’ clearly enough (say ‘red’ instead!).

    You claim to be a “nationally noted feminist”, but seem to have no experience spending time with feminists, if you think feminists offer no support to each other, and that the feminist community can be equated with the ‘vanilla’ status quo (there is no such thing as a ‘vanilla community’ there is just the male-dominated mainstream, which offers no real community to women).

    Are you completely unaware of the rape crisis hotlines and women’s shelters, and consciousness raising groups that were started by women in the 70’s? To claim that there is no support for abuse victims outside of the BDSM ‘community’ suggests to me you haven’t even bothered looking.

    You resort to a ‘no true Scotsman’ argument (twice in just one comment!), claiming that abusers aren’t really part of the BDSM ‘community’ – this makes you part of the problem, by insisting that abusers are nothing to do with you.

    The BDSM scene tolerates abusers all the time, and dismisses and ostracises victims:

    https://antipornfeminists.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/surprise-surprise-the-bdsm-scene-is-as-much-a-patriarchal-victim-blaming-rape-culture-as-the-rest-of-our-patriarchal-victim-blaming-rape-culture/

    https://antipornfeminists.wordpress.com/2015/05/04/qotd-so-i-left-and-now-i-use-my-experience-to-hopefully-keep-others-from-making-the-same-mistakes-i-did/

    Also, an in house survey found very high rates of violation:

    https://antipornfeminists.wordpress.com/2014/09/19/in-other-words-thats-a-50-increase-in-likelihood-you-will-be-sexually-assaulted-and-all-you-have-to-do-is-join-the-bdsm-community/

    “Second, rape fantasies are different than rape culture. I am currently in the process of interviewing people who participate in rape play. Overwhelmingly, the underlying psychology seems to be either one of trying to gain control over the constant threat of rape by designing a scene where the person (not always a woman as you portray in your comments) creates a scene to give him or her power over something that we all face as a constant daily threat.”

    If ‘rape fantasies’ are about counteracting ‘rape culture’, then the former wouldn’t exist without the latter, so ‘rape fantasies’ are a part (by-product) of ‘rape culture’. Even if this fantasising does work (and given things like trauma bonding and ‘sub-drop’, I doubt it does work), it doesn’t do anything to change the reality of rape culture – hiding away in a fantasy bubble is the opposite of affecting the real world.

  33. Hallo, I would like to draw your attentions to a venue in London call the Torture garden. And the extremely Misogynistic activity that goes on there.
    It is a place where Woman have been coerce into the most extreme of sexual acts, and degrading activity. All for the enjoyment of the male patrons who go there. Hear is the link to there web site [link removed]. Trying to set up petition for the Mayor of London to look into this, but so far there has been a lack of support.

    Yours concern.

  34. Thank you Kim, please keep us updated regarding the petition.

    I have removed the link, as it is not something I want to look at (anyone who does can find it easily).

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