Who are you?
Anti-Porn London: a group of feminists campaigning against pornography. Bin the Bunny (the protest against the Playboy store on Oxford St) was our first campaign.
Why Playboy? Why not Ann Summers?
Playboy is a porn company attempting to portray itself as a ‘lifestyle’ brand. Playboy markets products such as stationery sets and single duvet covers to young girls who may not know what the Playboy bunny logo stands for, and grooms them to become sex objects. Playboy is just one of our targets.
It’s just a rabbit, what’s the big deal?
The Playboy bunny is the symbol of a porn empire that profits from exploiting women. It symbolises women’s second-class status to men within society and helps normalise pornography in everyday life.
What’s wrong with pornography?
All pornography is sexist – it reduces women to objects and promotes misogynistic notions of ‘beauty’. Hardcore pornography is often violent and degrading to women, and portrays a dishonest version of human sexuality, particularly women’s sexuality.
Some women make a lot of money in porn
A very small number of women manage to make a lot of money in the industry, mostly because they have graduated from performer to producer. Most women’s ‘career’ in porn is short and financially unrewarding. Most women enter the porn industry because of poverty and a lack of career choices, and soon wish to get out.
The women enjoy what they are doing
Smiling for the camera and saying how much you love it is part of what they are paid for, it is part of the performance.
Some women consume porn, and what about porn that shows men being degraded?
Violence and degradation is violence and degradation regardless of who is being degraded, who is doing the degrading, and who is getting off on it. Showing men being sexually abused doesn’t challenge the pornographic paradigm that sex is violence and domination.
Are you anti-sex then?
No, we are pro-sex and anti-porn; pornography and sex are not the same thing. We would like to see more honest portrayals of sex in the media and better sex education.
You’re all just a bunch of ugly man-hating lesbians
Anti-feminists have always used bullying and name-calling to try to intimidate women into silence whenever we have challenged the status quo.
Anti-Porn Feminists 
I want to cry reading this! Thank you so much for creating this site. It makes me so incredibly happy to read of a group of women, identified as I identify (“pro-sex, anti-porn feminist”), say these things in the way that you do, which is calling porn as it is (degradation to all people, especially women) and making the distinction between porn and sex. It can be so hard as a woman speaking to others, WOMEN INCLUDED, and feeling as though that there is no room to move without running into the stuff or having someone make the case that is normal/not going to change. You are so incredibly right about Playboy grooming or cultivating young women AND MEN to become continuous users and workers for this industry. It is a mountain that must and will be tackled. People must and will see, one day, just how we are ALL being exploited and BEING ROBBED of real, intimate, fun, physically AND EMOTIONALLY SAFE sex. SEX ISN’T WRONG….PORNOGRAPHY IS!
Hello Bella,
Thank you for the encouraging comment. You are right that it can be very hard sometimes to express such opinions to others, when the automatic response from most people is to dismiss you as an anti-sex prude. We just have to keep on trying!
i am afraid its to late for regulating porn in general its pretty much running its course into the realitys of human existince,but now being aware of its retarded backlashes on peoples lives and its uncivilized ways we should all understand that its just another form of gross indulgence.lets face it the world loves to screw everyone in the psycic, moral decay at its fullness
your blog has inspired me to start video blogging about anti-porn feminism, i used this article in one of my posts, don’t worry i linked everyone to you.
http://www.youtube.com/user/antiquelens
here i am if you any of you are interested. keep this site up, it’s needed!
We should make the porn we want to see. Instead of only being critical of the porn out there, we should also produce the pornography that depicts things as we want them to be depicted, and produce said depictions in a way we want them produced.
Problem is, that never actually works. Plenty of women pornographers claim to be ‘feminist’, but their pornography never manages to do anything truly radical. They are never genuinely critical of other porn, beyond saying it’s ‘not to their tastes’; they collaborate with gonzo pornographers, they go up for sex industry awards. They are a part of the mainstream sex industry.
I am not saying it is impossible to make decent depictions of sex, but the porn industry doesn’t do it and never will; pornography is commodified sex, and it always loses something through the commodification.
Do you have any ideas? How the camera should work? Any ideas for new cinematics? It’s not an easy question, not by any means, more of a brainstorming exercise. Femme Productions had the characters talking about the acts they were about to do, as a type of context for role-play. But if you have studied the raw material, maybe you’ve gotten some ideas along the way? I’ve had discussions about this with my friends and some film students, and it’s a big challenge (at least around a bar table with beers). The demand is to bring what has been seriously capitalized into the artistic, creative realm. Hard to do, as most things nowadays are just for the money. I mean, getting porn out of the for-the-money world is almost easier than doing it to feature movies, since movies are so expensive to make that they demand a return. Pornography actually is in a unique position, making it almost easier to “uncapitalize”. The free streaming sites, where porn is now really moving (magazines -> movies -> VHS/DVD -> Online Streaming) such as YouPorn and RedTube, are actually inviting more free, not-for-profit pornography, but little is really changing without visionaries to do the job.
I showed my boyfriend a clip, where the camera was being held by the woman, and was mainly from her perspective. He had an odd reaction (he’s a film student), he said it was weird being forced by the camera into the woman’s body. I haven’t been able to put this specific camera angle out of my head, it seemed to have some possibilities. I’ve known DIY pornographers in the punk community, not-for-profit of course, but without an artists vision no medium can really escape what the makers have already seen, and good artists in any medium are few and far between. It’s a case of “The surest sign of the amateur is one who reads more than they write”, since it’s hard to escape what you’ve already seen as a basic model.
Err … No. This is an anti-porn blog, we’re not here to help you make ‘better’ porn.
I suspect the main reason why women do porn ‘for free’ is that they think it will get them into a career in porn or glamour modelling or reality tv, which they think will make them a lot of money and make them famous (in the vast majority of cases, it won’t). The last time I looked at the front page of YouPorn or PornTube or whatever, all the images were indistinguishable from commercial porn, in terms of the scenarios on offer, and the appearances of the women involved (skinny, no body hair etc.).
Maybe I should clarify; by ‘depictions of sex’, I did not mean recordings of staged sex acts. I meant art that was about sex, that communicated our experiences of sex – a recording can never get that subjectivity across.
I am delighted to find this blog. Like many, I was utterly ambivalent towards pornography until faced with the overwhelming evidence of its harmful nature whilst taking a course at university. I’ve spent hours and hours and hours on end trying to educate friends and family on the issue, and am glad to find this resource.
I decided to comment on this specific page because I admire what you have done against Playboy. What particularly troubles me about it is that often children are being dressed in Playboy merchandise – by their parents! It disgusts me that it can be considered a ‘fashion brand’ by anyone, but to see it on kids and young teenagers is especially disturbing.
As someone who went through systematic child sex abuse, all sorts of scenarios play out in my mind in regards to this. Even when I consider it objectively, however, I am still horrified; to feel that the Playboy brand is somehow glamourous and some sort of aspiration is a tragic indictment on our society.
Best wishes
Pandora
I am only 19 and i understand the full affects porn has on society. it sickens me to think how porn hurts men and woman.i cant understand the pro porn feminists they say porns impowering.what its impowering to get anally raped.your anus is and was never meant to be penetrated.men are getting so screwed up from porn its sad. i was lucky enough to find a man who is anti porn. he wasent when we first got toghether. but over a year he realized how f*cked it actually was. he saw how much it hurt me. i was antiwoman at one point because of pornography i felt i could never compete. i love websites like this one there so empowering. [EDIT]
Hi Dessy,
I’m happy to hear that this website is useful for you, and it’s really encouraging to hear from young women like yourself.
I’ve taken your email address out of your comment, there are a lot of unpleasant visitors to this site (some of the search terms that lead people here are disgusting) and you don’t want them emailing you!
A
Great stuff! You girls are so awesome! Thank you, and I can’t wait to check out more of your site!
Some very good criticism, definitely. But it seems to be intended toward mainstream pornography. What about something like this: “Eco-Rainforest Pornography”? A couple in Sweden makes their own home-made videos, by themselves, sells them, and donates all of the profit to a rainforest fund.
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines05/0910-01.htm
First, since it’s a real couple, it’s not imposed beauty standards, and since it seems to be “worker self-managed,” there doesn’t seem like there’d be as much gender behavior roles. And second, since it’s a couple, the exploitation normal in commercial pornography, the harming of women, isn’t as present.
Oh, and it helps the environment.
How does being a ‘real’ couple automatically guarantee a lack of ‘imposed beauty standards’? From the picture in the article you link to, Leona seems to fit right in to standard feminine beauty, she just dreadlocks her hair instead of bleaching it blond for mainstream porn, or dying it black for ‘Suicide Girl’ style ‘alt’ porn.
How does being ‘worker self-managed’ automatically guarantee a lack of ‘gender behavior roles’? There are no real descriptions in the article, except of a plastic bag full of “basques and knickers”, and Leonora is described as wearing stockings and suspenders, that all sounds pretty gendered to me.
How does being a couple automatically guarantee a lack of exploitation in the manufacture of porn? There are married couples in the LA porn industry and plenty of men pimp out their wives and girlfriends, being in some kind of recognised relationship doesn’t guarantee or prove a lack of abuse, and marriage can even make abuse easier, since it as seen as occurring ‘in private’.
“A couple in Sweden makes their own home-made videos, by themselves”
According to the article, they spend a lot of time finding other ‘models’ to make porn with; can it be guaranteed that none of those ‘models’ were coerced or bullied into it in any way, that they weren’t intoxicated when they signed up, that they didn’t regret it afterwards?
Why concentrate on a tiny minority of pornography that may not be quite as bad as gonzo (and gonzo sets the bar pretty damn low)? We are never going to be handing out seals of approval, we’re against porn culture as a whole, and so-called ‘better’ porn doesn’t do anything to challenge that.
“Oh, and it helps the environment.”
No, it doesn’t. Installing a compost toilet or taking the train instead of driving helps the environment. This porn is being used to raise money, hopefully the charities that accept it are legitimate and worthwhile, but consuming this porn does not directly help the environment.
I wonder what kind of synthetic chemicals were needed to make her neon pink stockings and suspenders? I also wonder what more legitimate projects lost out because he fraudulently took £5000 from the Norwegian government? It all sound like self-indulgent green-washing, on the part of the makers and the consumers.
“I wonder what kind of synthetic chemicals were needed to make her neon pink stockings and suspenders?” Probably the same kind that are used for the data center that stores the files for your blog. Which is probably owned by some company that makes money off of advertisements that use gender behavior roles. And let’s not even touch the worker self-management issues there.
Oh, and where are the data files for your website stored then?
Can I link to you from my new anti-porn blog?
Please do, you’re already on our blogroll!
I am so happy to have found this site. Some times I feel so alone in my views. I am a Vegan Feminist,, and find within my own community a double standard. Here we fight for the end of animal exploitation , yet many ignore the plight of the human animal. I await the day,,,when all sentient beings are respected and given honor.
Hi I’m a 22 year old guy and I’m anti-porn and have been reading feminist blogs since I was 17 (although not for the last three years due to being a step dad so I’m probably not as feminist as I could be although I hope this is not the case) I just wanted to ask if it is ok for guys to comment on the posts on your site or if it is for females only?
thanks for taking the time to read this -A
Hi I’m Just Me/A,
Being a pro-feminist and a good step-father is better than a lot of men manage, so don’t put yourself down if you haven’t been keeping up with your reading – actions are more important.
And any comments from men which aren’t abusive or stupid are welcome on this blog.
I am a beautiful woman inside and out and I hate porn . It degrades woman stealing everyones souls,causes relation ship problems,crime,suicide,depression whay is wrong wirh the world and why do people promote it.
Porn ruins self esteem relationship problem depression it needs to stop
One of the most problematic aspects of pornography (that most people fail to contemplate) is that it is incapable of conveying anything but the MECHANICS of sex. I daresay 99% of what is really going on in sex, what makes it so magnificent (or so absolutely dreadful), is the communication of intimacy between two people. The camera is not privy to that exchange. ANY outsider is not privy to that exchange.
Not that I delude myself into believing there’s a whole lot of intimacy or affection between the strangers that PERFORM the act in pornography. But to make the argument that there COULD be porn that portrays “real” sex, is somewhat ridiculous. Because you’re always limited to reducing the exchange to mechanics.
“Most women enter the porn industry because of poverty and a lack of career choices, and soon wish to get out.”
I’ve been thinking about this lately, and not satisfied with this answer which has become a mantra of sorts. I’ve said it myself, but I don’t actually believe it for one, and secondly, I think it’s damaging to young women for us to say this. it’s us not valuing women, and telling them, this is ok, you did it and we won’t censure you for it. It’s us saying, it was a legitimate choice. We have to stop telling them this. It’s never ok for women to go into (be led into) porn and prostitution.
Most women enter porn because they see it as being desired, loved and some man influences them to think that way, rrape culture influences them. And we FAIL them when we say NO THIS IS NOT AN OPTION.
Poverty? All women are poor, some moreso than others, and worse at different stages of our lives, but we are all relatively poor compared to men, without the benefit of sharing male incomes through some association with them.
Telling young women that women in porn or prostitution are there because they had no other choice is telling them it’s an option when they are really poor. It is NOT. EVER. And when we do that to them, we are letting them down, we are as good as turning our backs on them, we women, mothers, sisters, aunts, feminists, who should be their protectors. There is dignity in real work and aspiring to better but there is never dignity in giving in to society’s view of us, and telling young women if you’re poor it’s an option.
Hello,
I think it is perfectly possible, and necessary, to condemn the sex industry without condemning the women who are exploited by it.
Telling women it’s ‘not an option’ would just be victim blaming, how would that help them? How would that help any other women?
I would never say it is a legitimate choice, I would say it represents a lack of choice.
Radical feminists are pretty vocal about counteracting the mainstream propaganda that ‘sex work’ is an ’empowering choice’, and about stating the need to offer women real alternatives.
The women exploited by the sex industry are the least powerful component of the whole equation, targeting them for condemnation seems futile.
Was I condemning them? First of all, the language you use needs revamping. I think the attitude they have no choice is condemning.
Right off I’ll start this convo with US. Women do have a choice. Speaking generally, they do. They CAN go work at the minimum wage cruddy downmarket no doubt job they think is crap, stay in their parent’s basement room, apply for funding for college or whatever is available where they live, work on a diploma or start taking one course at a time after their Wendy’s shift ends, whatever they can manage, if nothing else, they can start studying at the library after hours, to pass their high school equivalency. It’s free.
We are abandoning them when we say they are poor victims without choice. I’ll say, yes, there are cases of that. I have relatives in Pickton’s farm yard. But that happens somewhere down the line past choice which they DID have at the beginning. It reeks of classism and racism to say they have no choice. To imply, they are a class of prostitutes so no point fighting it, or anyone demanding MORE from them. In many cases their families failed them, did not care what they were doing or who was doing what to them. That’s why WE cannot fail them. We have to let them know, we expect more from them.
What I have learned is that young women do not want to toil and sweat in loser minimum wage jobs, No one does, but you CAN start there, and move on. But, they see themselves as worthless, the trade as the fairy tale option, themselves as sexy desirable “sex workers” which is what the industry tells them, and they believe that’s the way it will be for them.
The ones who have no choice are the children, and by that I mean up to about age 15. The rest do have choice, rare exception, they just don’t see that what they choose, does not exist, and we’re all to happy to validate that and say “they have no choice”.
Telling women it’s ‘not an option’ would just be victim blaming,
….
Telling women porn or prostitution is an option is part of the problem. It’s pimp-talk. What separates a woman who would say that from the pimp?
Hello again,
I don’t actually disagree with a lot of what you are saying, and I don’t want us to risk getting bogged down talking at cross-purposes over the semantics of the issue.
You already touched on this, we can put resources into countering the pro-sex industry propaganda, to stop women getting into it in the first place, but once a woman is there, then what? Telling her she made a ‘bad choice’ doesn’t seem very helpful to me, on a purely practical level, not to help get her out, or to help her recover afterwards.
I think a part of the problem here is the general culture of ‘celebrity’; everyone expects to be rich and famous without putting in the hard work or having any natural talent, the ‘glamour’ of the shallow end of the sex industry feeds off this too.
What do you want to see done, now, on a purely practical level?
Are feminists against people having consensual open relationships? Since I’m Aromantic and don’t really dig the typical romantic gester kinda thing, and I aint a jealous man (Too laid back for that), and I don’t see why sex should be something so private.
Just wondering, since some of the feminist groups seem to have different views on this.
I don’t personally have anything against polyamory in theory, and I do know one radical feminist who is in a four-way relationship.
In practice, the polyamory ‘scene’ seems to overlap too much with the sex industry and BDSM, two things I am against; and, despite all the rhetoric of honesty and openness, I can’t help imagine that a lot of emotional abuse occurs when one person is more keen on an open relationship than the other, and social/economic inequality means one person (usually a man) can force it on another (usually a woman).
By saying you “don’t see why sex should be something so private”, I suspect you are accusing us of ‘prudery’; sex in an open relationship is still private, unless you are doing it in a public space, but that’s exhibitionism, and it is also forcing people to participate in your sex life against their will as onlookers.
Really, have as much of what ever kind of consensual sex as you want, just don’t tell me anything to do with sex is beyond criticism or judgement.
Also, if you are Aromantic, surely that means you are not in any kind of relationship at all?
Is this this just a fancy label for someone who wants sex without having to put any emotional effort into a relationship?
C’MON LADIES!! PULL TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A CHANGE!!
Porn ruins lives sex drives, ,confidence takes souls premotes permiscuous acts and self esteem.And it’s degrading we are individuals not disposable objects.
What exactly is the difference between radical feminism and (for lack of a better word) “normal”feminism. Google and yahoo answers gave me mixed messages.
Radical means ‘pulling up by the roots’, radical feminism is about going to the root of women’s oppression, ie patriarchy, and destroying it.
Liberal feminism (your ‘normal’ feminism) is about equality under the status quo, in other words, not challenging or trying to change anything.
https://antipornfeminists.wordpress.com/category/radical-feminism/
You can also read my critiques of liberal feminism here:
https://antipornfeminists.wordpress.com/category/thanks-sex-pozzers/
I have been reading many of the blogs on here and find it rather interesting after reading several comments in which you insult people that in your above descriptive you would complain about the very same thing you do
“You’re all just a bunch of ugly man-hating lesbians
Anti-feminists have always used bullying and name-calling to try to intimidate women into silence whenever we have challenged the status quo.”
Why is it ok for you to do this very thing yet if someone resorts to name calling they are bullying? Please explain the difference
Men call women ‘ugly’, ‘man-hating’, ‘lesbians’ etc etc in an attempt to frighten and intimidate us into silence. In the real world, men have the power and the desire to back up those words with violence.
I am rude to the men who come here to insult me, metaphorically finger-wag at me, tell me they want to masturbate to recordings of me being gang-raped, and over-all act like arrogant wind-bags who feel entitled to my time and attention.
Explain to me why I am supposed to be civil to such men; explain to me how real-world male violence and male supremacism makes my behaviour equivalent to the behaviour of violent men.
For the simple fact you can not ask for people to respect your opinion if you behave in the exact same manner you despise. It is not only men I have seen this behavior with. The best place to start a change is within oneself.
Honest questions in trying to keep an open mind while reading through your site.
Are you really saying that me calling a man an arrogant windbag is qualitatively the same as a man saying he would gleefully masturbate to images of me being gang-raped by 60 men?
I find it amusing that someone who gets off on inequalities of power, doesn’t understand how inequalities of power function in the real world.
By your worldview, an armed white cop calling an unarmed black teenager a n*****, is no better or worse than the unarmed black teenager calling the armed white cop a cracker.
Also, you have a fundamental misunderstanding about how arguments work. Not all arguments are equal, my arguments are correct, and that is the only thing that is important; I don’t expect my arguments to be ‘respected’ because it would be mean not to.
I demand men respect my basic humanity, why should I respect men who, by arguing that women aren’t fully human, don’t do that?
You are talking about wanting to change societal views yet want to continue the same ill fated behaviors. That is not change or progress, it is the false belief that only your view of the world is the correct view of the world.
I am equally amused by the fact that because I am a female you can have a somewhat civil conversation with me. However if the person happens to be a male you automatically believe they do not deserve the same courtesy no matter how they have addressed you. In my view that alone makes you no different than them.
I fully understand how arguments work, that being said I do not have be disrespectful to you in order to get my point across. Why would a man even listen to your point of view if all you do is resort to name calling? I know I would not. As I have stated before I am trying to keep an open mind while reading your site. I am a feminist by the traditional defined term. I am in no way shape or form an extreme feminist that seems to be the main stream of today’s so called feminist movement that do not seek just equality but supremacy. I have seen too many who fight for a women to have supposed choices in how they live only turn around and belittle or shame women for making choices different than themselves.
“You are talking about wanting to change societal views yet want to continue the same ill fated behaviors.”
And you have still totally failed to explain how me calling a man an arrogant windbag is the same as a man saying he wants to masturbate to images of me being gang-raped.
You either can’t understand, or refuse to admit you understand, that where there is an imbalance of power, behaviours do not have the same effect: ‘n*****’ and ‘cracker’ are both racist slurs, but they do not have the same power in the world; white people are not harmed by the word ‘cracker’, but the n-word does harm black people.
“I am equally amused by the fact that because I am a female you can have a somewhat civil conversation with me. However if the person happens to be a male you automatically believe they do not deserve the same courtesy no matter how they have addressed you. In my view that alone makes you no different than them.”
You’re being obvious again Matthew, sorry ‘Alice’.
“Why would a man even listen to your point of view if all you do is resort to name calling?”
Thing is, I’m only rude to misogynist men, and as you already know Matthew, sorry ‘Alice’, I don’t see any point in wasting my time trying to convince misogynist men not to be misogynist any more.
“I am in no way shape or form an extreme feminist that seems to be the main stream of today’s so called feminist movement that do not seek just equality but supremacy.”
You’re being really really obvious Matthew, sorry ‘Alice’, and I’ll just repeat what I said to you last time: “Are you so impoverished of thought that the only way you can envisage women’s liberation [as opposed to meagre ‘equality’] is as women treating men as badly as men treat women?”
“I have seen too many who fight for a women to have supposed choices in how they live only turn around and belittle or shame women for making choices different than themselves.”
Who am I shaming and belittling, and how? You are effectively saying that no one can express an opinion on anything, because it might upset someone else.
Also, how can I be a ~female supremacist~ and at the same time be “shaming and belittling” women?
You are so cute calling me by a man’s name. Apparently having a woman having a different view than you is just a foreign concept for you. Each time I comment I put my blog site on here. It is very easy for you to check it out.
As for what you claim I do comprehend I can also ask you this, what power is unbalance? Most families are matriarch in nature and men and women are different. If you think the sexes are the same and are able to do the exact same things you are the one with an issue. That would also mean that to you the power women hold is irrelevant to men.
I don’t click on random porny websites (which is what the name and the preview pop-up suggest your site to be). And, if you’re not Fuck You Matthew coming back for a another pop, does it not concern you at all that you are saying exactly the same things as that vile misogynist?
Your claim that ‘most families’ are ‘matriarchal’ is laughable (also, you were accusing me of ~female supremacism~ before, your arguments lack internal consistency).
The vast majority of the abuse of women and children (rape, battery, incest, and also financial and social control) occurs within the family, and there are many parts of the world were women and children are legal or de facto chattel. Marital rape was only made illegal in the UK in the 1990s.
Women who do manage to escape from an abusive man can look forward to poverty as a single parent, a lifetime on the run, or being forced into contact with their abuser through child contact.
Women who start out as single mothers face poverty, stigmatisation, invasion of privacy in return for meagre benefit payments, and scapegoating for all of society’s ills.
What power is it exactly that women have over men in ‘the family’? Is it being (often solely) responsibly for caring for the young, the elderly, the sick, the disabled? A role so important women are expected to do it for free on top of their paid work, or else for minimum wage on a zero-hours contract.
Within the family, women have all the responsibilities, but no actual power. When women try to campaign ‘as mothers’ they are ridiculed and dismissed as ‘mommy bloggers’ or similar. Women (especially poor, non-white women) are always to blame when something goes wrong with their children, but have no power to change the circumstances under which they raise their children – people who want to stop junk food companies from targeting advertising at children are up against the First Amendment in the United States.
The ‘separate but equal’ argument was used to justify the status quo back when women didn’t have the vote, couldn’t own property, couldn’t get an education or take up certain careers, and automatically lost custody of their children after divorce.
I know you get off on this ~benign patriarchy~ stuff, but that doesn’t make it true.
The Personal is Political
Thanks a lot for creating this site.
In solidarity with “Violence and degradation is violence and degradation regardless of who is being degraded”…”we are pro-sex and anti-porn; pornography and sex are not the same thing. We would like to see more honest portrayals of sex in the media and better sex education”
Thank you so much for creating this site, and continuing to educate and provide information on this important issue to both men and women.
I just wanted to comment on your post above, that
“I don’t see any point in wasting my time trying to convince misogynist men not to be misogynist any more.”
My response would be – “Please do keep on fighting the good fight, however frustrating it must be”. As a man myself, the ideas and arguments on this site are actually very enlightening (so much so it inspired the name of my profile on WordPress) and really challenged some of my preconceptions.
I have certainly never been a misogynist, at least not knowingly or intentionally, but am a frequent user of pornography and sex chat lines. I’ve never really thought that I was exploiting women, I suppose in the same way that if you buy clothes made in a sweatshop in the third world you can try to absolve yourself of any blame (I just bought some trainers, how can I be oppressing anyone?). The reality is that I have been both funding an industry that exploits women, and also damaging my own ability to have meaningful and fulfilling relationships. Its quite a humbling experience to admit that you are part of the problem, and something I have not wanted to come to terms with for quite some time. I think many men are suppressing the realisation that they are effectively abusing women by supporting these industries.
I was also a member of the BDSM community in London (and a member of Fetlife) and totally agree with those who feel that this community too, although outwardly supporting many of the principles of consent and equality, in far to many cases is actually composed of predatory men exploiting usually much younger women using their economic and social advantage. This is the case in both female submissive and male submissive relationships (ironically I think even more so when the male is playing the submissive role and coercing a female ‘Domme’ to play along). Such as shame that something that was intended to allow all to explore their sexuality has been ruined by men who cannot control their base urges or respect women.
I’m very much at the beginning of my personal journey in understanding this aspect of feminism, and also in overcoming my addiction to pornography, but your work here is helping me. I know the next time I see a pornographic image I will think twice about the exploitation of the woman in the image, and hopefully this will help me to become a better person.
Fuck people’s personal freedom and choices as long as they conform to your vies, right?
You really should have proof-read your comment before you clicked on ‘post’!
I think what you are actually trying to say is ‘fuck people’s personal freedom and choices if they don’t conform to your views, right?’
If you don’t like my anti-porn arguments, you need to demonstrate how my arguments are wrong, otherwise, all you are saying is that you don’t give a shit about women’s human rights, you want your porn regardless.
If the ‘choice’ and ‘freedom’ you want to defend is that of women to be in porn, there are numerous posts on this blog demonstrating the harm and coercion involved in the making of porn.
I suspect you only care about being able to consume porn.
I am anti porn misogamist feminist.
I had to look up ‘misogamist’, thank you for introducing me to a new word!